So far this month we have looked at the step by step process to attracting love from

Part 1  Building Belief – it is possible?

Part 2  Decide/ Commit/ Be real – Where are you at and where do you want to be?

This post is on Learning how to be in a relationship, beginning with clarifying what sort of relationship you really want.

Next week’s Part 4 is on Mindset for Dating, where you can choose to feel beautiful and be emotionally available to attract the right partner.

Other blog’s in this niche, particularly for the men, spend time in demonstrating skills how to date, while others spend time on how to improve your relationship.  I highly suggest checking out and learning as much as you can about being in an intimate relationship.

There was also an ABC documentary ‘Secrets to Love’ which showed couples who were almost sickeningly in love, then what we thought was the aftermath of the breakdown of the relationship where the couples were playing the blame game and also admitting how badly they had treated their partners with behaviours such as extramarital affairs or deciding to step out of life and becoming a couch potato with no responsibilities. However this documentary had a twist… the in-love and respect came after the horrible break down of the relationship – it was after they had decided to accept responsibility for being in a relationship and learning how to relate to your mate!  Methods chosen were counseling, spiritual guidance, attending education classes.  For a more complete breakdown on this topic, buy the second edition of my most recent dating ebook, Cost of Dating, which now incorporates more on how to be in a relationship and even restore broken relationships, as well as even more inspiring stories and helpful strategies to help you get to where you want to go.

In preparation for this month’s topic I re-read some of my favourite resources such as John and Stasi Eldridge’s ‘Love and War: finding the marriage you’ve dreamed of’.

“What do you say to the young man entering marriage?  What do you say to the young woman?

MAN, you are about to give your life away.  You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: to offer your heart and your strength to WOMAN, time and time and time again, for the rest of your days.  You have some sense of the weightiness of it.  That’s why you have that nervous grin on your face.  But there was a reason they chose young men to send to the beaches at Normandy; they did not for the most part know what was coming.  Older men would have been harder to recruit.  I will not lie to you – nothing will be harder.  And nothing will be richer.  My words to you today are:  It can be done.  And it is worth it.  To discover that because of your strength and your sacrifice WOMAN can become the woman she was meant to be, that somehow your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty – that is worth whatever this may cost you.  By the grace of God, you can do this.  You have what it takes.

WOMAN, you have dreamed of this day for a long, long time.  And now you, also, are about to give your life away.  It might seem easy and natural at first, to offer your feminine heart and your vulnerable beauty to MAN.  But do not be deceived.  Nothing requires more courage than for a woman to truly offer herself to her man time and time and time again.  Look around.  Do you see many older women risking this?  But I also say to you: It can be done.  And it is worth it.  To discover that because of your beauty and your sacrifice MAN can become the man he was meant to be, that somehow your fierce love can free his heart and arouse his strength – that is worth whatever this may cost you.  By the grace of God, you can do this.  You are that beautiful woman.”

Then from John Gray’s ‘Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus’,

“Most important, throughout this book you will learn practical techniques for solving the problems that arise from our differences.  This book is not just a theoretical analysis of psychological differences but also a practical manual for how to succeed in creating loving relationships.”

Choose today to take responsibility to improve your relationship.  Or if you are single, choose today to become the right partner, then you will attract the right partner!

Your thoughts?