What is the Financial Cost of Dating?

Examples for women on the day of the date may be having your hair done or buying a new dress.  An example for men could be the cost of dinner and the movie.  We could also include the costs associated in the life journey leading up to the date, such as university fees or interstate travel.

If I went along those lines, the financial cost of my own last ‘first date’ would be

>$200,000 – a few stints at university.  Each of these times at tertiary level education are included as the last first date was held in another country, Indonesia, where I have a BA (Asian Studies), with a major in Indonesian Language.  I had taken extended time off work after health problems arising from teaching (two times at tertiary level as I didn’t finish it the first time).  And as I had returned to university as a mature student a few times, there was not only the cost of the courses and learning materials, but there was also the opportunity cost of lost and diminished income where rather than earning $40 or $50 per hour, I was able to go forward by taking more menial positions that did not take up the brain space that I needed free to process the knowledge I was acquiring. So the hourly rate was more commonly around $15.

Then the first date was in another country so there were the cost of flights, and at the time I was travelling around Bali, however I had been invited to a fund raiser and had to travel back to that part of the island.  Then on the day I was so excited about a big night out, I had my nails and hair done.  Then there was the cost of the ticket to the fundraiser ….. you get the picture!

How can we turn those costs into investments?

If your issue has become your passion, use what you have learned to help others. This could be volunteering at a school or nursing home.  Alternatively, you could begin a blog or even turn your own knowledge, and application of it leading to success, into a business. This could be coaching or training, writing a book or becoming a counselor.  You can be sure that your journey will help others who have the same issues you have been able to overcome.

What have you learned and how have your learned it?

Remember that much of life’s lessons come in the form of experience.  However it is written “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”  So people may believe they have learned from past relationships such as from the death of a marriage in divorce. However removing yourself from the situation does not equal learning.  You may just find yourself back in the same situation. Your new spouse just has a different name!

Most importantly we are all on a journey and both lifelong learning and accountability are required to grow and not repeat our mistakes.  This must include learning on both conscious and subconscious levels.  So, we must first change our mindset incorporating positive thoughts and really go beyond positive thinking.

Every negative can be turned into a positive and costs can indeed become investments!

Have you turned your issue into your passion?