This month we will look at the importance of mindset regarding dating.

Mindset for dating may also involve:

Ø  EQ Emotional Intelligence

Ø  Personality types

Ø  Communication/people skills (in general and within an intimate relationship)

This month Smart Lady Dating will cover each of these.

So what is mindset?

“A set of attitudes or fixed ideas that someone has and that are often difficult to change.”

(Source:  Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary)

Conscious and unconscious beliefs

On the surface I may be believing/affirming “I am happily married to the man of my dreams.”  However if you have been saying this for a while now, and there is no man in sight…. there is something blocking you.

[Or depending on your life view another reason may be there is a different purpose for your life – eg have you seen the movie with Diane Lang –Under The Tuscan Sun?]

So consciously you may be affirming:

“I am worthy and deserving of love.”

And yet subconsciously you believe:

“I am not good enough.” Or “No-one will ever love me enough to marry me.”

Or perhaps you were belittled as a child by a parent or sibling – “You are so stupid.”

If your conscious and sub-conscious beliefs do match there is no problem – ie unless you want to change that particular belief.

The trickier issue is where your conscious and subconscious beliefs do not match. If you are not manifesting the life you want (in this case being with the man/woman of your dreams), then your conscious and subconscious beliefs most likely do not match.

Step 1   Become aware of your subconscious limiting and/or negative belief.

Step 2   Change it to the one you want!

The simplest way with step 2 is to go from negative to positive.

Eg you have the subconscious belief “I am not good enough.”

Change it to “I am good enough.”

One way to shift this belief to become your conscious and subconscious belief is to use the first, second third person strategy.  Either with a partner or a mini conversation with yourself….

A             I am good enough.

B             Yes, you are.

Repeat 10 x

B             You are good enough.

A             Yes, I am.

Repeat 10 x

A             [Own or partner’s name] is good enough.

B             Yes, he/she is.

NOTE:  As this step is third person, both parts can be done by both people.

Repeat 10 x

When repeating, a good technique is to change the stress on each word – eg “I AM good enough” and “I am GOOD enough.” Etc. As with any learning, “repetition is the mother of skill.”

There are so many strategies to shake up your subconscious to manipulate your beliefs.  How exciting is that?  You can choose what you believe about yourself and your life, and step into the life you choose!!!

Have you had success with any strategies to blast out your old unwanted limiting beliefs? Please add your comment below.